Added: Adrina Canada - Date: 30.08.2021 14:13 - Views: 36451 - Clicks: 9757
Lonely hearts of the western world have an important message for the new internet society. The rise of loneliness and the plight of lonely hearts in the internet age has big implications for everyone. Money can't buy you love but controversially, in today's world, maybe it can.
Even more startling, maybe it is love. The links between money, love, loneliness and the attraction between western lonely hearts and Thai women throws up some interesting findings. What is not in doubt however, is that a dramatic shift in society all over the world means loneliness is an issue to be confronted. Whether as a solution to the problem or a contributor the discussion, it is related to the internet and social media as the web becomes more and more part of the fabric of daily life. In today's world it may already have become the fabric of daily life.
At this point in time, there is an unease about where this storyline ends. Popular psychologists including those writing self improvement books have long linked the blessing of love with possession of money. Translated to this, the internet or social media age the phrase 'social capital' has gained currency with some commentators supporting this concept.
The rise of loneliness, what it is actually, who suffers from and its links with the internet and social media is beginning to be researched by some government agencies. This is pronounced among older economically disadvantaged males living alone in all the surveys. However, while it is often stories about older and more senior men and women that capture the public's imagination, loneliness is by no means limited to this age group. In the United Kingdom a charity called Silverline runs a programme whereby younger people telephone older seniors once a week.
One of those seniors is Paul Dunphy, 62 years of age, originally from Ireland but living in Derby. Paul's wife died eight years ago and he receives a regular of phone calls and visitors as part of two different programmes within the community.
Our reporter interviewed Paul at his very comfortable and well appointed home in the Chaddesden area of Derby. In one part of his living room there is half a wall dedicated to pictures and portraits of his beautiful wife Marguerite who died from cancer in having being diagnosed only three months ly.
Paul says he has been reasonably successful combatting his loneliness but was initially devastated by how he felt just after losing his wife. In , Paul ed ThaiLoveLines. Like it was only something I'd seen on the Sunday papers. I wasn't sure I would ever go, my friends were laughing at me, it's only now that I'm off to Thailand. The idea for ing the dating website in Thailand was that I thought maybe I could find someone, I did think my wife would want me to, you see, find a new partner.
Now I think it might as well be a new life altogether. I feel a man or women must have someone in their lives from the opposite sex, it's only a natural thing isn't it. Paul found it difficult to date English women locally in his owns city having even tried a matchmaking service he saw on a local newspaper. It's not that I'm a miser but it just didn't feel right and at my age it's not so easy to find a dating partner.
The women I met were very set in their ways. The only thing, I know I may be lonely and I have limited means but I don't have any money worries, you see. Paul ended up losing nearly Stg 2, to an internet scammer who said she needed the money to secure a visa and pay for a plane ticket. In spite of this set back, Paul continued using the Thai dating site but in five years, he still has not made it to Thailand.
Paul has many online girlfriends in Thailand mostly younger women although quite a few are middle aged. I'm a bit excited by it now. Paul tells us his life has become comfortable and he doesn't feel as lonely. Paul's son, who lives in Liverpool, runs a successful trucking company and as the years have gone by, his son has become closer to him. Humans must tangle with each other, you know, and explore new horizons.
That is where the internet dating helps but I've put off my trip to Thailand for too long. My friends in Thailand think I'm a ghost. I'm off in the new year and I'm really looking forward to it. Carla Boonkong, a researcher and magazine writer in Bangkok, who has studied extensively the phenomenon of Thai woman marrying Europeans men including UK men. She is cautious about older men seeking Thai girlfriends and Thai wives. This comes often from relationships involving older western men and Thai women.
In this situation the obvious is true, the bigger the age between the parties the more likely there is to be a problem. However it is important that both parties understand what is involved. Recent research in the UK by the office of National Statistics showed that the United Kingdom, in statistical terms, was the loneliest place in Europe.
The survey estimated that there were 4. A friend was defined as someone that they could relate to on an intimate level. The last fifty years have seen radical and remarkable changes in the nature and shape of society. In a movie was released called 'Lonely Hearts' which portrayed a terrifying story of murder and the manipulation of lonely people in the s. The story is set in the aftermath of World War Two when there was an excess of single eligible women available because of the impact of the war. The true story tells the the story of Martha Beck and Raymond Fernandez who lured unsuspecting females ultimately to their deaths not before extorting and swindling them out of their fortunes.
Today's lonely hearts are not the victims of a world war but a social war or struggle within society which has caused dramatic upheavals and changes in the way we live. There are still predators like Martha Beck and Raymond Fernandez except they no longer target their prey through Lonely Heart magazines but through the internet and social networking as well as dating sites. Online dating scams are a growing part of a global internet fraud business. This industry dominated by organsied groups in Africa, Eastern Europe and Asia, is now reckoned to be bigger than the international drug business.
It is also linked to increasingly large levels of migration from Africa. Paul from Derby was a victim of this new crime wave. Paul managed to shake it off his loss deciding that he wanted to focus and use the internet to solve his problem with loneliness.
It would be quite wrong to assume that loneliness is something that was reserved for older or even male members of the population. The problem and challenge is a deeper and also more widespread one. All research in western countries is showing that there are high levels of loneliness among younger people and even among people involved in marriage living in homes with children.
In fact, the recent survey in the United Kingdom identified the most acute levels of loneliness among adults of working age. Ironically it identified older seniors over 65 who had retired as having well established circles of friends as a buffer against loneliness. Carla Boonkong identifies the quality of personal relationships as a key reason for the attraction to Thai women by western men.
This, on the face of it, would directly challenge the stereotype of the western man with a Thai wife or life partner. Carla believes some Thai women bring to a relationship the same culture and warmth that is found in Thai families. This is why you hear the bad stories. But there is a lot more good than bad, also it depends on the western men. That said, I think Thai society has super advantage in that relationships within families are very close and somehow warmer.
The structure of Thai society and Thai culture is centred around the parents, the children caring for parents and the culture is a living thing with an active philosophy and a range of solutions for every situation. Western society is materially better off but people find themselves increasingly less connected and in a colder place.
And it is the internet that has opened up the two environments, I think that this is one very positive thing about the internet. But then it is up to the man or women online to find the right sort, this hasn't changed at all and as we see we must also be careful about the internet. A comprehensive research project into loneliness in Australia for the Australian Institute was conducted between and It offers fascinating insights into not only the levels of loneliness across the whole spectrum of the population but also indications of how loneliness interacts with people's lives and also the use of social media.
Like all surveys and research into loneliness it showed that those who are lonely are more likely to be men and living alone. One of the fascinating insights offered by the research shows a clear link between a change in financial circumstances such as the loss of a job or drop in income.
It was found that this has a severe impact on a person's feeling of loneliness. In the end of the day loneliness is a perception that society is not interacting with us as we would like it to do and therefore a drop in income is sort of like a rejection message from society,' says Alison Dewar, a researcher from Newcastle in the UK. The research seems to suggest that the concept of social capital is a real one.
The research also throws up some interesting findings on how Australian adults are using social media and dating sites. The research found that while people who are lonely view social media outlets as possible solutions to their predicament or problem, they are also less likely to believe in friendships and relationships created online than other adults who are not lonely. Our experience shows that people who are lonely easily often mislead. This is something that is a problem for social media all around the world.Lonely women in Thailand
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